Katie Bingham-Smith

My son is a junior in high school and desperately wanted his own vehicle. So he had to get a part-time job to pay for one.

I know some parents don’t want their kids working during school and want all the focus to be on academics and extracurriculars. But I’m not one of them.

Part of this belief stems from my childhood. I had a job and believe that I’m better off because I had to work for things like a car, expensive sneakers, trips to the mall, and dinner with my friends.

I also have three teenagers with only three years between them. I’m not willing to buy them each a car and provide money for gas, insurance and repairs. And I’m not willing to listen to them argue about who gets to use the car if I only buy them one.

My kids have to pay for a car themselves if they want one. And obviously that means they need to get a job, even though we all know how busy teens are with friends, sports, and extra-curricular activities.

Now that my son has a part-time job and a car, it’s his name on the paycheck. And it’s great that he has his own money to spend when he goes to the movies or needs an oil change. But how much should he save for his future?

I certainly can’t make him save a specific dollar amount unless I take his checks, cash them, and give him an allowance out of the money he’s earned. Honestly, I have no desire to micro-manage him in this way.

These years are about evolving and becoming an adult, and this definitely defeats the purpose. I’m trying to teach him responsibility, consequences for his actions, and the positive effects of having will power and not giving in to instant gratification.

Telling him what he’s allowed to spend from a job where he reports to work and collects the funds isn’t the answer. However, I can tell him that if he wants to go to college, he’s in charge of paying for a certain amount of it.

In our house, we’ve decided that this amount is one-third of the cost of college. He also knows he’ll be in charge of his own spending money. Whether he earns money now and saves for it, or takes out a loan, or finds scholarships and grants, it’s his decision.

To encourage him, I can share my stories about how nice it was when I went to college with a few thousand dollars in my checking account as a buffer, while I still worked. But I can also share how huge my student loans were because I didn’t save very much money toward tuition (I’m still paying off my loans at age 44, by the way).

I can also explain how I had to start paying them back after graduation. I would have loved to go out and buy a nicer car after college, but there was no way I could do that.

It was a big lesson for me in planning for my future. Since then, I’ve been more mindful of planning for my future and not just where money is involved either. That situation shifted my opinion about the importance of planning for the future and how it’s not a good idea to set yourself up for a harder time when you can do something to help yourself now.

Every parent has a different system in place when it comes to their teens and money. It’s definitely not one-size-fits-all.

If my son was in the running for a big sports scholarship or getting a full ride for his excellent grades I’d probably be singing a different tune. I wouldn’t want him to feel too pressured to do it all, and I know he’d need to spend more time on academics or his sport.

But that’s not the case, and his freedom and car are important to him. There’s no reason why he can’t work to enjoy them.

I hope he makes decisions now that pay off for him later. But if he doesn’t, I’m pretty sure he’ll learn a valuable lesson about money. If you ask me, that’s the kind of experience which sticks and is the best way not to repeat mistakes.

Really, you can’t put a price on that.

Need Help with College Planning?

Hi, I’m Brad Baldridge, a college funding specialist and the owner of Taming the High Cost of College.

If you’d like to get great tips and advice on how to save more money for college, reduce your costs, and put your student on the road to a bright future, subscribe to my free e-newsletter.

You can also check out some of my useful college planning articles and resources below.

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Everything seems to be happening all at once: school is about to start, my son will be turning 16 in a few weeks, and he is going to be getting his driver’s license soon. With that comes the great responsibility of working part-time so he can help with car expenses. That means he’s been filling out job applications on top of it all.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed with life lately. I find myself barely keeping my head above water with all of the day-to day activities, but with his junior year of high school approaching, it’s also time to start some college preparations.

The question I have is, how much planning do parents of high school juniors need to be doing? Is visiting a few colleges enough? How much do I need to prepare my child for their college experience?

Since this is my first child, I’ve never prepared for someone else going to college before. The only thing I have to go on is what I did to get ready for my college career back in the early ’90s.

During my junior of high school, the only thing I did was take the PSATs and look at a few colleges during the summer before my senior year. But that won’t cut it these days, and I’m overwhelmed and not sure where to start.

I talked with other parents who have been there and have gone through junior year with their kids as they were also beginning to navigate the college process.

I got a lot of good advice about exactly what you should be doing. I also got some surprising advice about what isn’t necessary. After all, we need to realize our children are still in high school and need to be living out these last few years without too much pressure. Otherwise, the whole experience could be ruined.

Janet G. is a high school teacher who says there is no need to make your child take every AP course. “I see so many students that are not getting anything enjoyable out of their education in their junior and senior year. Many people seem to think that [not taking AP classes] is a death sentence for college acceptance. My stepdaughter did not take one AP class in high school and was still accepted into a very good university. She was involved in marching band and other activities that made her a well-rounded student. She graduated and now works in the finance industry and is doing well. Let your children have some balance and fun in their lives.”

Beth O. is a mom who has been through the process and feels families and kids spend way too much time, money and tears trying to get into the perfect school. “Newsflash: it is a crap shoot. I am dismayed by the people who build some type of portfolio for their kids. What pressure! My advice is to apply to as many schools as you can, be open-minded and realistic about the choices, and enjoy the journey. And drink lots of wine.”

Allison H. is a fellow mom with whom I went to college, and she who offers some very important advice that some of us may be overlooking. “Set ground rules for what the parent can afford for college,” she says. How disappointing it would be to have you and your child work so hard, only to find out you couldn’t swing college financially. And if you need assistance with funds, have your child start applying for scholarships. There are so many available to students and yes, they can apply to some as juniors.

Allison adds how critical junior year is for grades and volunteer work. Make sure your student is doing all the things the college of their choice (that you can afford) requires during this year.

Kelly W. expresses how important it is to encourage your student to make plans, prepare for college visits, and choose courses themselves. “Of course, ask about it regularly to help them stay on track, but helicoptering over the process is likely to result in a kid that is not independent enough to do well out of the nest. The process should be entirely in their control,” she says.

It seems this is the year to see which colleges line up with our finances and encourage our son to apply to scholarships and grants while making sure he’s doing his best in school and participating in enough things so he’s a well-rounded student. But we don’t want him to be under so much stress by overdoing it that it takes away from this precious year.

It’s advice that I got from almost every parent: chill out, don’t put so much pressure on your child, and let them enjoy their junior year of high school. That feels like a really good place to be, and one I can handle as a single mother of three kids.

Need Help with College Planning?

Hi, I’m Brad Baldridge, a college funding specialist and the owner of Taming the High Cost of College.

If you’d like to get great tips and advice on how to save more money for college, reduce your costs, and put your student on the road to a bright future, subscribe to my free e-newsletter.

You can also check out some of my useful college planning articles and resources below.