community college

Brad Baldridge
This episode, we've got an interview with Brian South. He's the author of Demystifying College Admissions.

Presenter
You have kids, they grow up, and before you know it, it's time to plan for college. Where do you start? How much is it going to cost? Will you qualify for financial aid? Should you be looking into scholarships? When will you be able to retire? What about student loans? The list of questions is never-ending. The good news is all the answers are right here. Welcome to the Taming the High Cost of College Podcast. Here is your host, certified financial planner, Brad Baldridge.

Brad Baldridge
Welcome to Taming the High Cost of College, I'm your host Brad Baldridge. Today we have an interview with Brian South. He is the author of Demystifying College Admissions. And today we talk a little bit about his expertise in working with a wide variety of families and understanding the college process. So he works one on one with families. He's got a lot of great experience. And we're going to tap into that experience and talk to him a little bit about the various things that families might run up against, and strategies to help solve some of the typical problems that we run into. And then after that we'll get into Brad Recommends. And in Brad Recommends we talk about some charts available on my website that will help you figure out what college will actually cost instead of what's just published as sticker price. As always, all the stuff we talk about will be available in the show notes at tamingthehighcostofcollege/148 for this episode. Let's go ahead and jump into the interview. All right, today I'm talking with Brian South. He is the author of Demystifying College Admissions. Now, welcome, Brian.

Brian South
Welcome.

Brad Baldridge
All right. So

Brian South
Thank you for inviting me.

Brad Baldridge
Yeah, yeah, not a problem. So obviously, you're involved in the college process if you wrote a book about it. So you can you tell us a little bit about your history and what led up to the book, so to speak.

Brian South
Absolutely. The best way that I can describe my experience and pathway to college admission support and planning is I think of the Home by Robert Frost, where he said two roads diverged in the fork or the wood, I took the path of least traveled and that made all the difference. And that's basically what happened, is that my path to education was not conventional, to say the least, I came from a very broken, shattered home, I was placed in special education for most of my life until I left home and became homeless. And when I was 15, I lived with different families and different people across the United States. And I didn't formally finish high school, I went to about 14 different schools around the country and then ultimately wound up getting a GED. And then I transferred to a community college and then slowly but surely completed courses, a few courses here and there. And then I applied to UC Berkeley. And then I got admitted. What I learned from all these different experiences from my life is I developed the background, the empathy, and the understanding of working with a number of different populations in school, I identified with people that either had learning disabilities or were classified as learning disabled. And some of the challenges they faced with being branded with a label. I understood what it's like to not to attempt to pursue higher education when you're not getting the support and the background that you need to make that happen. I understood what it's like to go to school and apply later than what many students conventionally do. And so I could identify with the older returning students, and most importantly, is I learned the power of persistence. And that as long as you have a dream, and you dream it, you believe it, and you take action steps to achieve it. You can make it happen.

Brad Baldridge
Right? So that's kind of your history, but now you're actually paying it forward, so to speak, and helping families and individuals professionally now as well with the college process?

Brian South
That is absolutely correct. I've worked with a wide range of students from every conceivable socio economic background, I coach them, I've mentored them. I've supported them. And as you mentioned earlier, while I mainly or categorized as one who works with students, but of course there's no way you can work with students without also working with the parents because a lot of times, the parents have dreams and visions for their students and they also have feelings, maybe concerns, maybe even agonizing worries about the future their students and so often, I would be working with the parents and we collaboratively can help the child achieve success. Now, while I've worked with the range of students I've worked with range from students that were struggling leave and failing, even at the verge of dropping out. And I've also worked with top honors students who really, as we talked about earlier, before the show began, really don't need a lot of prodding incentives and direction, but they still need support, because the top athletes or the top business people, as we said, hire coaches so that they could be on top of their game and so many parents, with a prodigies for kids recruited me to give them that additional edge. Because even the smartest and the best and the brightest kid, it cannot compete with wisdom, with experience that just comes from living so many years. And that was something I like as well.

Brad Baldridge
Right, yeah, exactly. And as I'm working with families, most families are rolling into the planning and paying for college. And their experience might be as parents, they went to college 20, 30, 40 years ago. But a lot of times, that is not sufficient to really understand the game as it's played today, because obviously the prices have gone up dramatically, the processes are much more opaque in some cases, and challenging. So I think a lot of parents realize perhaps that they're in over their head. And I often joke with families as well, 'By the time you get your four kids through college, you'll have it pretty well figured out, you'll be the expert, unfortunately, you won't need that knowledge anymore. What you really need is to get that four student experience now, before you start, and that's the challenge, I think a lot of families realize it's getting more complicated, maybe we can pull someone in that has that experience. And I think that's one of the reasons I've enjoyed chatting with you, prior to the show is you've got a lot of experiences working with a wide swath of families. And I think there's a lot of assumptions out there, there's the Harvard and Yale-type students where their goal is to get into the Ivy League or bust. And there's some agencies and consultants in that thing out there where and some of that a fair price, I'm at what I think is a very exorbitant price, preying on families and essentially saying, 'You know, I can get you into the top schools.' And they're, of course, very selective, and they only take top students so that they have a shot at being successful at getting them into the top schools. And there's nothing wrong with that, if that's where you're at. But that's a very small minority. And if you listened or start gathering advice from that group, it rings hollow, when you start talking about my students not willing to do that kind of work, my student is not going to write 40 scholarship applications, at least not based on what I tell them, and again, maybe if they work with someone like you, Brian, maybe that would turn around the time. But I think that there's a lot of challenges around finding the help that's appropriate for starting where you're starting and just improving your situation. And it may not get all the way to the quote unquote, 'best,' but any help. And any improvement for a lot of students is going to make a huge difference.

Brian South
Exactly. And I think that's the key. And I think the approach that I found that was very effective for virtually almost everyone I worked with, is not to challenge them, not to tell them that they need to do X, Y, and Z in order to be successful, but just sort of work with them where they are, and really get them excited about their future and about who they are in the present. And then invite them to explore options. It's like, 'Okay, I'm not telling you that what we're doing is set in stone, and that you have to go the Harvard route, or you have to go the Yale route, because your father did and your great grandfather did all the way since the beginning of time. But what do you want? What's important to you? And if the Ivy League is in your round will, let's see what we can do to make that happen.' Now, it is true, it is true that these prestigious universities are highly selective, and only a very small percentage of students get in. And that's, I think it's important to realistically inform the students that. However, I've been witness to the fact on the other hand, that miracles do happen every day. I mean, our very birth is a miracle, I mean, of all the different potential, where our chances like what, like one out of 400,000 or something to even be born. So the fact that we were born we've already beat the odds, the odds are our odds so you can compete in this world exceed even the odds of applying to Harvard. So on the one hand, I would want to look at the practical considerations of what they're doing to get into the school. And I would also look at what their dreams are. And then also even honor students, even ones who are captain of their basketball team and who have a 4.7 GPA and single handedly founded a medical program, which they use to fund a hospital and those supply their air conditioning units, have vulnerabilities. And now actually, that may seem like I was exaggerating it, but this is a true story. I actually worked with a student who did all this, I coached him since he was 12 years old until he was 20. He went to a place in Georgia, and he learned Russian when he was 17. He worked at a hospital and with kids with leukemia. And then with money he raised at a medical club he founded in California, he, he bought air conditioning units and single handedly delivered them flew back and single handedly delivered him to the hospital. But that student had vulnerabilities, that student had challenges. And I sometimes wondered, because he accomplished so much, why is he even recruiting me? I mean, maybe he should be teaching me, it should be the office. Alright, let's get accomplished so much. He's I found out I asked him how he was doing. He said, he got accepted into the continuous program at the University of Boston, he said, 'You know what, I couldn't have made it without you.' And I, I'm like, what, that's kind of amazing. So what I'm saying and he's, well, the school is like a Brown University and some of the others where it's an eight-year program as opposed to four. So in other words, they could complete their, their undergraduate requirements and go like directly into professional program or like medical school. And that's exactly where he's going, he always wanted to be a doctor. The father, in fact, wanted to discourage him from going to medical school, because he thought this is a very hard pathway you're pursuing. So he said, 'Well, I'm going to show, I know what I'll do. I'll take him, since I'm a surgeon, I'm going to take him and watch a live surgery. And that'll discourage him.' When he sees all the blood and the guts and all the things that's going on. Well, so he took them to see where he was watching an amputation. He goes, 'Hell, wow, this is fascinating, this what I want to do with the rest of my life I'm doing, I'm going for this.'

Brad Baldridge
Right, absolutely. And again, I think we've all talked about and heard about these high flyers and that type of thing. Of course, the challenge is the high flyers or a small percentage of the kids at the top. So what if we're on maybe the middle of that spectrum, or maybe even in the lower end of that spectrum, where students that are maybe a little less motivated students that are struggling a little bit with high school, or students that are having a hard time picking a career path? It's like, 'Well, I kind of like this, and I kind of like that.' And it's not that they're passionate about anything. It's they kinda like most things. And there's a few things they don't like. But it's kind of hard for them to pick a path. What do you recommend for parents that are stuck in that situation?

Brian South
Okay, that is an outstanding question. I'm really glad you asked that. I have a couple of answers for you on that. First of all, I come from the belief that children, when they're born, we naturally want to learn, we naturally are excited about the world. And we want to know everything there is I mean, you know that probably with your kids, they ask questions, so I look, I had enough alright? The question I can't, they just want to ask questions, what typically happens is that something happens that sort of suppresses, or that, and some of them, you know, are highly sensitized to some things that are said to them, or events, and their enthusiasm gets stuffed. It's like an article of clothing that is lost, it's buried in the closet somewhere. It's still there, but it's just, it needs, it's just hidden. And so what I do is that I talk with them about really what they're passionate about. Now, I understand that in terms of college planning, there's of course, as you say, there's the senator going into the elite schools, and then there's quite a few in the middle of the road, but everybody, when I look at everybody has something especially significant. I mean, there are people that have gone to all different ranges of schools and have made amazing contributions to the world. So I see everyone is up 1% whether they're going into a college. Now, if a student is unclear, totally unclear. My suggestion for the parents or for this is to, if college let's say isn't there in their pathway, but the parents are not, because there's some resistance, there some blockage and the student at the moment is not demonstrating the level of motivation or willpower or skills, then go to a community college. Community colleges are outstanding. You know, I've, because student could start with wherever they are, and they can build up their skills, and if they do really well in a community college, they can transfer to almost any university in the world. In fact, that was the pathway I took, because of my life circumstances, I did not have the backing and the support to just instantly go into a top 1% no matter how much motivation I had, because the circumstances just weren't there to make that happen. So economically and emotionally, going, taking the community college route, was the most practical alternative for me. And when I look at my diploma from UC Berkeley on the wall, no one's really going to care that prior that part of the step halfway to get there was that I went to a community college or whatever. It's like someone I really admire name is Marissa Kier, and she has a full transformational program, she mentioned in one of her podcasts that, you know, it doesn't matter how long it takes you to get to the top of the mountain, the view is going to be the same, regardless. So what she said, if whether you're 102, or 22, you'll still get up there. I have a student, and then the other thing too, is sometimes students have pathways that make sense to them, but not to the rest of the world. I had a student, for example, I worked with, who he had some challenges with the say that, but even with those challenges, said, 'My dream is to go into film and be a director.' Well, based on the conventional mindset of administrators and teachers, since the student had some challenges, they felt, well, that's totally impractical. He's, he's hallucinating, he's dreaming. Well, I felt that, well, other people are doing it, why can't he and so while I was working with a student, I encouraged that student to go with film, and if that's the student's passion, that students should go for it, and just ensure that they're doing all the other steps are ensuring success for college along the way, that student went through the community college route, is to transfer to university. Now that student is in a film program, and has been on the Dean's List, two semesters in a row.

Brad Baldridge
Right? Yeah, exactly. So I think there's something to be said for having that tenacity and getting out there and doing it. I guess, on the flip side, sometimes, quitting is the right answer. So that you can then move on to the next passion and find something else that you really enjoy. So how do parents help students? You know, you can say you want to be the NBA, but if you never made it past five foot eight, your odds are insanely challenging. So you're probably maybe looking into soccer, or looking into boxing or looking into swimming? Or who knows, right? You there might be other directions that are a better fit for your situation.

Brian South
Right?

Brad Baldridge
So as a parent, how do we decide? Or how do we help our student decide? Or again, or as you, as a coach? How do you deal with that helping a student figure out? I think there's a couple different things. One, is that their dream? Or is it a dream that was instilled to them when they were for by their parents? And so where does practical fit in with the whole college process?

Brian South
Well, what I would do is, I would certainly present the practical aspects to the student about the choices that they're making. And while at the same time encouraging them to go after their dreams, because as I was saying, when we got cut off is that almost every inventor, almost every person who's accomplished anything of any significance was told, not only that their effort was impractical, but that they were incompetent. I mean, it's almost a formula, it's almost a given as someone was great. They were somewhere along the line, someone told them that they weren't going to mount anything like Thomas Edison, for example. There was a story about how his mother, in fact, was told by the teachers, this is my understanding of the story, that he was slow, that he could not learn. And although she was heartbroken by this, she told him that the reason why he was taken out of schools because he was just so gifted and just so capable that they were not able to accommodate him. And lo and behold, the world that we live in today is powered by this very individual who was told that he wouldn't amount to anything. So my approach to students is just examine the choices. Okay? If you A, pursue the practical advice that everyone says you should do, this is what you do. If you want to go for your dreams, and if you want to challenge the odds, this is what you do, understand that there are risks. If you're doing something beyond the norm, there's a chance that it may not work

Brad Baldridge
Right.

Brian South
So the way I look at it too, it's all really about persistence. I know for myself that I was able to achieve a number of things just simply by belief alone. I think that our own mindset and beliefs, sometimes what we think is practical is just self imposed limits that we place on ourselves, or what society tells us. I mean, it's true that, I read that when the Wright brothers invented and perfected the first man-made flight. That same year, there was an article that was written in a major publication that that was physically impossible. So even some of the experts in fields of Aeronautics and science and college admission are often blindsided by their own limiting beliefs. And COVID has certainly challenged everyone's belief because the world turned upside down as we know it. And we were forced to communicate, as you and I are doing right now. But it wasn't even an option before people would mostly fly to events and give speeches. And now we're sort of compelled to talk on these platforms. And that sort of accelerated a process that has been going on for quite a while about the age of artificial intelligent automation, it's taking over like a storm and, and it's going to change the whole face of college admission. So what we mere mortals think is practical may not be at all because what we planned based on our unpractical understandings may be completely outdated in two or three years by automatic. I work with one of the top AI experts, and planners, his name is Josie Perry Asami. And I interviewed him and he and he is in my book, where I talk about artificial intelligence and college admission is that a lot of things that we think are practical are no longer going to exist. And so regardless of what students do, they need to future proof themselves, they need to number one, develop the technical masteries that will help them navigate the brave new world of artificial intelligence. But they also have to even be more resilient than ever, they have to be actually more, what's really ironic about the age of artificial intelligence, I believe, is that it's actually forcing us to be more human than ever, because we're going to have to collaborate with each other, really understand how to work with each other in terms of how we can navigate a world that essentially no longer needs us, because many tasks, especially repetitive tasks, can be done by machines.

Brad Baldridge
Right, for sure. And I think in your book, there's a couple of different areas where you talk about the key to the college process is communication skills and people skills. I think maybe you can broaden that to the Keto, a career and life in general is, some of those types of skills, I think are, your network and all that type of thing, is how you future proof. And so can you speak a little more to that, as far as...

Brian South
Sure it really goes down to that it's really essential to have a coach to work with and because when you're working with someone, you're already working with another person. And that's really, to start with. And so that's what the world of the future is going to demand is that we learned need to work with people and learn how to collaborate, how to negotiate, how to empathize and work with other people. And that's a very essential part of it. As I was mentioning earlier, my background in sales actually taught me the power of persistence and about focus and about setting goals. And I believe that if a student develops that mindset of persistence, and makes rejection their friend, then and just keeps pursuing, then they can beat any insurmountable goal, even what people thought was limiting and practical.

Brad Baldridge
Right? Absolutely. All right. So I just want to briefly talk about in in your book as well. Chapter 17 is focusing on college for adults and 18 is college admissions, when you've got special needs, chapter 19 is about foster care. So you touch on a lot of topics, I think that are a little outside the box. So can you talk a little bit more about why you put those chapters in and how you feel that they fit into this process?

Brian South
Well, my philosophy in the work I do is I consider myself a democratic college advisor and supporter, which means I believe that everyone, regardless of their background, deserves the opportunity to achieve their best. And the reason why I included the chapter on foster care is because I was a runaway, I was homeless and starving on the streets of New York City, mainly in other parts of the country as well. And I stayed in institutions which were ripe for abuse and the feelings that I often had, and I believe, which is very common to abandon for youth, for foster youth is, who do you trust? There's a feeling, there's of trust, and so they don't, in order to succeed, people need support, they need the backing of others. And many of them fall through the cracks, several of them the likeliness, that they'll even complete high school, let alone college is extremely slim, many of them are likely to be victimized or to wind up in prison. But I also know that regardless of those kinds of circumstances, with the right support, they can do just as well as anyone else. I joined, met several nonprofit organizations who support foster youth, provide professional counseling services, and I'm offering my services for academic or college advising, like Peacekeepers is one of the organizations that I'm working with. And I also partnered with a nonprofit organization called St. Nia, which provides financial literacy and support for children that come from disadvantaged backgrounds, I believe that it's very essential to provide that that was something that I didn't feel that I had. And so but it's it's something that I can offer others. Actually, as I mentioned, in my chapter, and foster, there's actually a tremendous amount of resources for people that were foster youth, but they just don't know they exist, because they actually have funding, for example, they can get their college tuition almost completely free, or and their scholarships, if you go on to Fastweb, for example, which has the largest database of scholarships, they can actually look up scholarships and find out specific ones for people in foster care. There are organizations that provide work experience and internships, specifically for foster youth. So the thing is, even though it may seem like they're outside the box, they're really not, they're part of our population, they're just as vital to our population as, as someone who came from a completely privileged supported home. And I think, if anything that my chapter I would hope to offer, is that they may not represent a mainstream population, but they are a vital component to the world population, and deserve to all the advantages that anyone else would get.

Brad Baldridge
Right. And they agree with that. And I think you touched on it, but I want to hit this home, is if you're involved with foster youth, I think one of the biggest challenges is, the whole college process is pretty complex and overwhelming for an adult, for a parent, in general, if you're a foster parent, well, you've got a lot extra layer of complexity because of the foster situation. But you also have access to a lot of resources that you as the parent, it may not even be your money, so to speak, you may not have to pay for the college, you might just have to provide the support that's needed to get to college, or help them navigate, where to find the money and have that tenacity to help them with the tenacity of demanding that they get what's rightfully theirs, because I think a lot of cases, there's a little bit of disenchantment, where they give up too soon. And they don't understand that. There's, you know, people like you out there that are willing to help. And there's lots of, again, when it comes to things like need based aid, when you fill out the forms, a lot of times you're going to become an independent student. So it doesn't matter if your foster family can afford to pay for it, they're not going to be required to either way, just because the forms work, but again, most people don't realize that. So it's a learning curve for both the youth and hopefully there's an adult mentor involved where they're going to have to go through the learning curve as well. And I think that's a big challenge that if you could spend the time, not necessarily even your money, helping foster that need the help, I think that can make turn the corner for a lot of families.

Brian South
Exactly. And what I would like to emphasize is that often, when we identify a special group or whatever, it's very easy, very tempting to say, 'Oh my gosh, look at all the challenges this person has, how we're going to do that?' But you know the way I look at it? We all have challenges if you were born, if you're a mortal, you've got challenges. I don't care who you are. We all have challenges and we all need guidance. We all need mentorship, believe me. I've worked with students who were honors students, who seemed like they've never even made their own bed in their life for crying out loud. And they woke up with suicidal ideologies, because they didn't feel they were loved or they were supported or that or that they were on the lower end of the pecking order their family. So you know what, it doesn't really matter whether you're in foster care, or whether you live in a gated community, with servants at your beck and call, we all have something we're dealing with, we all have stuff. And we all need support the student that this that's going into Harvard, believe it or not, will need just as much support and mentoring and navigating their pathway as a kid who was homeless and in foster care. It's just the problems are different, that's all. But the thing is, we all need, we need to believe in ourselves. And while you all need someone to believe in us, so it's a universal concern we all face as humans.

Brad Baldridge
All right, yes, I'm on that note, I would agree that we all have our challenges. And I think your book has some of the solutions, or at least a start for many families. So can you tell us a little bit about where we can find the book, and I sell a Demystifying College Admission? So I know I got it on Amazon. So I'm assuming is just out in the world. A fair statement?

Brian South
Yeah, it is out in the world. I mean, of course, Amazon is the primary, I think that there are a few brick and mortars places that have it on as well, like Barnes and Noble and Waterstones in the United Kingdom. And that's their Barnes and Noble version. And there's another store, there's another equivalent place in Canada, I can't recall what it is right now, but it's there too. So there are a number of different ways they can get a hold of my book, right? And

Brad Baldridge
If they want to get a hold of you personally, how can they, you have websites or social or tell us where we can get a hold of you as well?

Brian South
Well, my websites under construction, so it will soon be a viable platform for people to reach out to me. I'm on Facebook and all the social media, LinkedIn, and I have an email account, I can give you one of them. It's mighty, M-I, like a mighty, mighty mentor, and then the number 4, and then the letter U at gmail dot com. I would also like to direct people to watch my book launch, which is on YouTube. And I believe you have that as well. Yes.

And I'll put in the show notes just for listeners. If you're driving and you can't wrap around. It's all in our show notes.

Oh, that's excellent. Yeah. And then of course, they would look for Brian Keith South. I was named after the movie actor Brian Keith. So just think of me that way. And, and then if they're going south, they're going in the right direction. So

Brad Baldridge
There you go. All right. Well, I appreciate your time and effort. And I look forward to talking to you again.

Brian South
Likewise, thank you.

Brad Baldridge
All right, that was a great interview. Stay tuned for the cost of colleges by state. But before we go, I just want to remind you that we would appreciate any sort of review that you can give us at iTunes or wherever you're getting your podcasts. It helps people find this out, it helps people find this podcast. And of course, you can always tell your friends, family, and ideally, your school counselor that we're out here, most people don't know that we're here to help and directing them to our podcasts would be a great help for both myself and for the people you're helping. Alright, let's go ahead and jump into Brad Recommends

Presenter
The latest tips, tricks, and tools you can use today. This is Brad Recommends on Taming the High Cost of College.

Brad Baldridge
Today, I'd like to recommend my Cost of Colleges by State. If you go to my website, click on the 'Resources', there's Cost of Colleges by State tab there, and you'll be able to get a chart for each state. So as an example, you could go to Illinois, and it would show you all the Illinois state schools and private schools and their average cost based on family income. So if you have a lower income generally, you pay a little bit less, they have a higher income, you pay a little bit more, but it'll tell you what the average cost of a particular college is. So as an example, if I looked up the University of Chicago, for family's income between 75,000 and 110,000, their cost comes in at about $20,000. We look at the Illinois Institute. It's about 24,000. And if we looked at an Illinois state school, say, University of Illinois in Champaign, it comes in at about 22,000. Now, if your income is a bit lower, say between 30 and 48,000, then the University of Illinois is 8000. University of Chicago is 4000. An Illinois Institute is 21,000. Again, we have this information for each state. So if you're just starting out, I think it's a great place to start to get a quick idea of what colleges might cost for your particular situation. Now, the question I have is all these numbers are based on averages, and almost nobody is average. So you need to dig deeper than these numbers. For sure, because many families will be substantially higher than average. And of course, to balance those out, there'll be many families that are substantially below average. So again, is a good place to start. And certainly, we'll give you a list of the various colleges in your state, give you an idea of what's out there. So if you're just starting out, you can get a list of the public schools and a list of the popular private schools. And then if you go further down on that page, there's actually a drop down which will have all the schools not just the ones that we could fit on the chart. There's a lot of great information. And then of course, you can read where these numbers are coming from, and get a better idea of college costs. It's much better than just starting with whatever their published price might be. Alright, that's all we have for today, I appreciate you listening. As always, we appreciate reviews wherever you're downloading these podcasts. And we will see you next week.

Presenter
Thank you for listening to the Taming the High Cost of College podcast. Now it's time for you to take action. Head to tamingthehighcostofcollege.com for show notes, bonus content, and to leave feedback for Brad. The next step on your college journey starts now.

Brad Baldridge is a registered representative of Cambridge Investment Research and an investment advisor representative of Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, a registered investment advisor. Securities are offered through Cambridge Investment Research Incorporated, a broker dealer and member of FINRA and SIPC. Brad owns two companies, Baldridge Wealth Management and Baldridge College Solutions. The Baldrige companies are not affiliated with Cambridge Investment Research.

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